(Source: fynri)
The Authority #2
Bad things happen when I run teams. And bad things happen when I don’t run teams. This is all a hellish gamble for me, Apollo. But there had to be someone left to save the world.
And someone left to change it.
Jenny Sparks being smart.
(Midnighter is totally Bert, by the way; Apollo would be Ernie. As if it weren’t obvious.)
[StormWatch #38]
PAGE ONE:
Battalion: You’re late.
Jenny Sparks: Oh, dear. What’s worse, Sunbeam, is that I’m barely awake and haven’t drunk my breakfast yet. So you and Henry can go and stick your talent-testing session up your combined arse and let me go back to bed.
PAGE TWO:
Battalion: In session, Sparks, you call me Battalion. “Sunbeam” doesn’t cut it. Further, you will refer to the Weatherman as Weatherman, not “Henry”. Computer: session begins.
Jenny Sparks: “Session” does no such thing. Respect for your elders, Sunbeam—Particularly when they need to drink a crate of beer and sleep for a week.
[Battalion shoots Jenny’s beer out of her hand. The bottle shatters into thousands of pieces as she flinches.]
Jenny Sparks: AAAH! You little tosser.
PAGE THREE:
Blah blah blah self righteousness from Battalion. He criticizes her speed and powers.
Jenny Sparks: All right, Sunbeam. All right. You want to see my talents? Here you go.
[Battalion is electrocuted and severely fucked up by Jenny’s skillz.]
Battalion: Yaaah!
PAGE FOUR:
Jenny Sparks: In 1955, I was sleeping with a poet from America. He used to call me “The Spirit of the 20th Century.” He was a pratt, too, Sunbeam. Just like you. I’m electric, Sunbeam. I own electricity.
[Jenny blasts him again. He is helplessly overwhelmed by her abilities.]
He did have a nice bum, though. I remember that very distinctly.
Electricity is everywhere, Sunbeam. It runs your suit. It runs this station. Therefore, I have a foothold in everything. There’s electrical current in the human brain.
Everything, Sunbeam.
Battalion: Uurk.
Jenny Sparks: Because I’m a nice old lady, I won‘t subtract the electricity from your brain. But I could.
[Jenny backhand-slaps Battalion over the head.]
Don’t ever touch my beer again.
——————————————————————————-
Sooooooooooooo. This is obviously a problem.
I can’t reread StormWatch and The Authority without feeling the impulsive need to blog Jenny Sparks, her drunkenly unhappy self, and the caustically fabulous dialogue she supplies within every issue I read.
The chore of being enamored of such a spectacular creature.
This is why Boom-Boom is one of my favorite D-List X-Men characters
From Nextwave - Agents of H.A.T.E. #6
Nextwave
One of the things I love about Nextwave is that, while Warren Ellis made a lot of jokes at Tabby’s expense, he never had her being anything but effortlessly badass.
